Tuesday, Oct. 17th..?

Hey. So, especially after last night I feel REALLY stupid writing in this, and I REALLY don't like the title of this blog anymore. But I hide it in the margins, and I grin and bear it. I don't know exactly how to feel now, loving someone who so surely hates me now. But I'm trying to be positive. A bunch of the girls -Sarah Kuchy and Jackie and Ariel- were having a mini movie-party last night and they turned it partially into a gathering to make me feel better. It just felt good to feel wanted and included and shit. I don't know about these feelings for you anymore. It's like I just harbor them. But I'm trying to release them because with you being your emo self I know they'll only hurt me more and more, break me unless I try to let them free.
I started to cry again last night. I do that when there's a lull in the excitement, because I can't help but think of you and how sick I make you. But the girls just made me smile, telling me I was always too good for you anyway. Part of me believes them. Well, bye for now.